Author’s Note: Had some requests for another Kon-El/Superboy fiction. So, here’s my shot! My World History and philosophy teacher taught me of Socrates. Socrates kicks major arrrssse.
Legalities: Property of them, not me!
Continuum: YJ – post-OWAW, pre-Robin’s leaving
Summary: Kon tries something on Robin.
Rating: PG, if anything
Socratic Method
By: Carmen Wayne
Robin groaned, angered. This wasn’t RIGHT, it wasn’t fair. People shouldn’t have to go through this sort of angst, he swore. It was a anger like no other. A frustration that only became mainstream beginning in the early ‘90’s. It wasn’t right OR fair. Migraines, tears, domestic violence sprung from the womb of the madness this torture created… He had to hit the cause of this disaster. And he did.
The computer screen fell from his desk and hit the floor, shattering. The others would understand. That was the fifth time the POS computer frazzed out on them.
“Damn you, Gates,” he muttered.
He stood and turned to get his cape and gloves, which he had left on a chair behind him. Much to his surprise, Superboy sat there. He held a martini glass in each hand. One hand shot forward and gave the glass to Robin. Robin was wary to touch the glass without his gloves, but then figured Kon wouldn’t do that… he… wasn’t THAT bad…
He warily took it, flashing back to his SOY experience with beer. The stuff was gross, he hated alcohol. But upon sniffing it, he discovered it to be classic white grape juice. Robin smiled a bit.
“Please, dear Al, sit down! Go on, sit!”
Robin gasped as his chair hit him from behind, knocking him into its seat. He managed to keep the glass balanced, however. Part of him wanted to know how Kon did that, the other part was afraid to even guess.
“What’s this all about, Kon?”
“I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“Uh.”
“Don’t worry, don’t worry! Just RELAX…”
**********
Superboy grinned, humored. This was perfect, it was GREAT. Everyone needs the kind of epiphany that he was going to expose Robin to. He had been surfing the internet at Bianca’s when he came across a Greek philosopher website. He read up on the first philosopher that was on the list—Socrates. Apparently, he learned, Socrates had an interesting way of taking people on…
It was a way that he could do with his big mouth, and Robin being so dense. True, once he though about the way he phrased it, it sounded kind of gross, but that was beyond the point. He now had a mission that was FLAWLESS in outsmarting Robin.
“You shouldn’t do it,” Wonder Girl had warned. “Not after what happened between you two.”
But he insisted that he should be trusted, and reluctantly she agreed that she would. So, he prepped two martini glasses with white grape juice, slightly laced with alcohol, because he knew Robin would never go for the real thing. Though, he might after a little exposure…
As he snuck in behind Robin, holding a glass in each hand, he knew Robin would be too busy cursing the computer out for stalling to notice him. So he parked in a chair about six feet behind Robin, on which Robin’s cape and gloves laid. He pondered whether Robin would take the glass without his gloves on… ‘I have more nuance than that,’ Kon insisted in his mind. ‘I’ll shave his head and steal the hair.’
The computer screen was punched and knocked to the wood floor, glass flying everywhere.
‘Touché, Gates mein freund,’ he thought sardonically.
Kon watched Robin turn to him and gape that Kon actually got in without detection. Without saying a word, Kon offered a glass. After a moment of hesitation the glass was taken. Kon was satisfied with the smile of realization that followed.
“Please, dear Al, sit down! Go on, sit!”
Foot on the floor, Kon channeled his TTK to spin Robin’s previous chair and knock him into it. He was impressed when nothing spilled from glass. Robin blinked a few times.
“What’s this all about, Kon?”
“I’d like to ask you a few questions.”
“Uh.”
“Don’t worry, don’t worry! Just RELAX…”
“How can I?” Robin snapped.
“I’ll be askin’ the questions, Robin,” Kon quipped in an Irish accent. “How ya be?”
“Uh. Frustrated.”
“And why would that be?” Kon asked, voice going to normal.
“Computers.”
“Computers?”
“Damn computers.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because computers can be damned.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, don’t you use computers to help you solve crimes? What about the batcomputer?”
“That’s DIFFERENT.”
“Oh, so Gotham’s Windows-free.”
“No—“
“Then how is it different?”
“Kon, what does it matter?”
“Okay, okay. How about this: What is it like working with Batman?"
"It's... working with Batman."
Now, by this time, Kon was beginning to wonder if his little idea would work. But he figured that if he kept pushing, it might work.
"Do I detect unenthusiasm in your voice?"
"Nooo..."
"You're Robin, right?"
"That's kind of obvious--"
"So shouldn't you respect Batman? I mean, he’s the reason you ARE Robin.”
“I don’t want to discuss this.”
“Why?”
“Because I just don’t!”
“Wow, there’s a discrepancy for you…”
“How is that—“
“I bet you have some lingering anger about your dad, don’t you?”
“What?!”
“It’s okay to be mad at him, but c’mon, he made you a superhero!”
“No—“
“He IS your father, isn’t he?”
“No!”
“Then where do you live?”
“Somewhere.”
“Where’s somewhere?”
“Somewhere!”
“I’m sorry, Rob, seriously, but I’m just not buying it, amigo. So… you said you’re not all like Batman, right?”
“What’s in this drink…? Tastes weird—huh? That’s right, Kon, I’m not. I know you refuse to see that—“
“Then why do you use us?”
“USE you?”
“Use us! Batman uses the JLA, just like you use us. Why?”
“I don’t use you! We went through this on Apokolyps—“
“Prime example.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“We just wanna help you out sometimes, but the only time you want anything to do with us when you want something.”
“I do not—“
“And Batman does that too. Only he doesn’t talk as much.”
“I—“
“Why is that, Rob?”
“Because that’s how we do things.”
“But you just said that you’re different from Batman. Does that mean… exceptions?”
“I don’t want to discuss this! What the hell did you put in this drink?!”
“Why?”
“I feel kinda woozy…”
Kon snickered and drew out a bottle from the floor behind him. It was unmarked and filled with the alcohol-laced white grape juice.
“Want more?”
Robin blinked.
“A bottle?”
“Yep, of a SPECIAL blend…”
Robin held the empty glass out.
“Please?”
Kon grinned and obliged.
“So… If Batman isn’t your dad… tell me ABOUT your dad?”
“Uhm… well… I dunno…”
“You don’t have to tell me names ‘r anything…”
“Well… uh, he’s my DAD… He sure as hell would never agree about my being Robin…”
“You mean he doesn’t… doesn’t KNOW?”
“God no. I’d feel so *bad* if I told him… He’d want to kill me for endangering my life like that.”
“So… why do you do it…? I mean, if you know your father wouldn’t agree with it?”
“Well… because those who can do, and those who can’t don’t.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means that only a few people have the capability and the capacity to do what I—well, what WE do, Kon. We can, so we do. Those without all that we have can’t so they don’t.”
“Oh… so… what if your dad found out and told you that you couldn’t do it anymore?”
“That’s the thing. If he told me “You can’t do it anymore” then I’d simply reply, “Oh, but I CAN. See? Legs, arms, standing, conscious, not hindered…” Of course, he’d promptly get furious, burn my suit and throw me into military school… but he still can’t stop me. And he won’t.”
“You’d actually TALK to your father like that?”
“You don’t know my dad.”
“But he’s your FATHER.”
“Drill sergeant.”
“Drill sergeant looking out for your safety, I’m sure.”
“He’s cruel.”
“’Titus’ dad cruel?”
“Only more wealthy.”
“I doubt that. Do you love your dad?”
“Of course I do! He’s my father!”
“Is he your biological father?”
“Yes!”
“He’s the one who knocked your ma up?”
“Mmmhmm…”
“He participated in giving you life.”
“Yeah.”
“So why… how can you disrespect him like that?”
“I’m not ‘dissing him. I’m trying to save lives, and in that scenario, he’s trying to stifle my abilities and willingness to do that.”
“…”
“…why are you staring at me?”
“You amaze me.”
“Why?”
“You say you’re nothing like Batman, but I think that even Batman would do what you’re willing to do. To disobey your father to risk your neck for others.”
“… Look, why are we dwelling on my dad?”
“I’m making a point. You say that you’re nothing like Batman but you’re doing everything that is cliché for Batman!”
Robin stared at him long and hard after finishing his second glass. LONG and hard. He realized the young man seated before him had a point. But beyond the point, he had a bottle of stuff that tasted really good. Really, really good.
“I dunno what you’re talking about.”
Kon frowned, looking from his face to the glass. Then he grinned more. He held the bottle out.
“More?”
“Please.”
Kon grinned wider as he poured it in. ‘Well, the Socratic Method works… and I’ll get a double reward with the camera in my coat pocket and lampshade nearby as Robin, the Boy Wonder, increasingly gets an inhibited judgment through the wonders of spiked grape juice. Mwahahaha!”
The End ?????